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Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.4. Splash a little watered down rusty red paint on the sidewalk.5. Leave a note on your door that reads:"Bubba,Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.Better wait outside. Be right back.Cooter"These are compliments of Larry--A farmer had 3 lovely daughters, all who had dates on Friday night. One by one the local boys came by to pick them up.The first boy arrived and said: "Hi, I'm Eddie, I'm here for Betty, we're going steady, is she ready?"The farmer called Betty and she and Eddie went on their way.The second boy arrived and said: "Hi, I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show, is she ready to. Better to think of other things, to dream of the past, as perhaps the moth does in its chrysalis, before it is reborn.I hear waves breaking Upon a deserted beach, A place as distant As the mountains of the moon. Yet, to me, it seems like home.I see myself now in the polished mirror of my mind. I am beautiful, as I have oft been told. We of Mentrassanae hold false modesty to be as contemptible as any other lie. Indeed I am possessed of beauty, I am tall and my back is straight, my shoulders are broad, for they have already borne many burdens and borne them well. My face is fair and my hair is darker than the storm clouds, my mouth has full lips and my eyes are as green as the southern sea. My legs are as fair and as shapely as any, my breasts shake and there is thunder, my hips are the embodiment of flame, my mouth is the crucible of desire and what there is between my legs men and women alike would give much to possess. But more than this, my passion and my power both glow inside me.
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